Q is for Quotes of the Week

I’m sure everyone who works in healthcare with the general public encounters some truly hilarious remarks made by their patients.  As an Optometrist, I seem to encounter far more than my fair share of daft, ironic, occasionally even downright stupid comments from my beloved patients and never fail to find them wonderfully entertaining.  For some time now I have amused myself (and my audience) by sharing some of these gems on Facebook, and now plan to bring them to you, on an approximately weekly basis.


Jay: “Look straight ahead”

Patient: “How do you mean?”

Inner Jay: “Huh?  How many ways *are* there to mean look straight ahead??”


Jay: “Which letters seem clearer, those on the red background, or on the green?”

Patient: “48, 52”

Jay: “Huh?”


Jay: “How’s your general health at the moment?”

Patient: “Wonderful!”

Jay: “Do you take any medication at all”

Patient (gleefully): “Oh, millions of pills!”

Inner Jay: “Right.  Clearly wonderful then.”


Patient to Jay’s colleague: “Tell me.  Is it possible for eyes to spit?”

Jay: *Exits room rapidly, trying not to snort with laughter*


This entry was posted in A-Z Blogging Challenge, Patient Quotes and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Q is for Quotes of the Week

  1. Do eyes spit!!! Mine leak water but it is generally in a tear formation and never gushing outwards.

    • Jay says:

      It was because his spectacles get dirty. He was convinced his eyes were spitting at the lenses!

      • Jay says:

        Heh, aye, I really wanted to get finished in April (which admittedly was optimistic since I didn’t start til 2 weeks in). I’m giving up for the night now, although I might be rude enough to bring the laptop to Stacey’s tomorrow.

  2. Ps. You are on a roll with the blog posts – I sense a catching up attempt.

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